


Tribulation

by Anime_weeb



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Asano Gakuhou's Bad Parenting, Asano Gakushuu is in Class 3-E, Asano Gakushuu-centric, Bridge symbolism, Depressed Asano Gakushuu, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Korosensei therapy session (not), Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Physical Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal! Gakushuu, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27184480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_weeb/pseuds/Anime_weeb
Summary: Gakushuu had always been different; he had known that from the very start. He went through things that most 14 year olds would never dream of going through and handled things in such a manner that one would find it absurd and self destructive. Perhaps that's what he was; self destructive. There was no denying it.
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 9
Kudos: 181





	Tribulation

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by two Gakushuu-centric works that I had the pleasure and absolute joy of reading. 
> 
> The problem of physics by Anonymous 
> 
> And…
> 
> With Tragic Eyes And Bloodshot Dreams by SlytherinKilljoy
> 
> (For some reason it won't let me add a link, sorry!)

  
Gakushuu had always been different; he had known that from the very start. He went through things that most 14-year olds would never dream of going through and handled things in such a manner that one would find it absurd and self-destructive. Perhaps that's what he was; self-destructive. There was no denying it.

  
  


Coming out from the lion’s den had always been hard, much harder than going in. He had to walk out with his head held high and ignore the weight of whatever harsh words were thrown at him. At least when he went in, he could prepare for the unexpected, but when he came out, he had to physically stop any emotion from showing itself. Emotions were weak. So, he walked down the corridor with fake poise and grace, chin in the air and eyes determined, determined to ignore all the looks pointed at him. Or rather, the looks pointed at the letter in his hands. Maybe he could have walked out with at least _some_ dignity, but the fat, ugly printed ‘E’ on the letter was proof enough.

  
  


He had been sent down to E class.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When the first lesson in his new class rolled around, everything was just plain... awkward. It was obvious everyone was avoiding him, and it became increasingly worrying when his new “teacher” started pampering him all while asking if he could ask his father for him to raise his paycheck. Yeah, like hell he’d talk to him again. The only person who treated him normally was Akabane, but he wasn’t _that_ desperate for someone to talk to.

  
  


It was all a hassle honestly, from climbing up the damn mountain every day to sitting at his desk writing down notes he had already memorised at least a week ago (he always had made sure he was ahead, so the classes were useless anyways), not like he’d tell anyone that. He should be in A class, leading them towards victory as their president, but that was over now, he wasn't even president anymore.

  
  


Then he’d have to go home. It was ironic really, how he called it that when it was anything but. If anything, it was more like a prison cell than a home. He didn’t feel at home at all.

  
  


His father would be there, too. Ready to berate and tear him down again and again; he was sick of it. But that all meant nothing as he walked up the stairs to his front door, his father's car in the driveway. He was already home.

  
  


He unlocked the door quickly and stepped inside, the cold air immediately hitting his face. It was as if his father had a thing for cold things, either that or his soul was seeping out of him; Gakushuu chose the latter. 

  
  


“Asano, my office, now.” Was heard. That was it, no “hello”, no “how was school”, after all he only said the bare minimum to him. Gakushuu sighed, so much for a quick exit to his room. He took off his shoes and began his trek to his father's study, already making up ways to escape in case things got out of hand. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He entered and closed the door behind him, per his father’s command.

“How is your time at E class going?” Fake concern was laced in his voice.

  
  


“I don’t know, suppose I like it there. I mean, we don’t have air conditioning or proper, qualified teachers, not to mention our tedious task regarding the murder of one of those teachers, so I’d say it’s grand.” Gakushuu sighed, already cursing his sarcastic tone when he saw his father’s eyebrows knit together as he frowned.

  
  


“Watch your tone with me, boy.”

  
  


Gakushuu didn’t know what came over him at that moment. Maybe it was the way his father was looking at him, eyes filled with thinly concealed annoyance. Maybe it was the rain that had begun to patter against the window in the study, little droplets decorating the windowpane nicely. Or maybe it was because he was so sick of being looked down on by the one person he’s meant to trust with his life and love with his very being. Whatever it was, he opened his mouth and breathed,

  
  


“Or what, you’ll hit me again?”

  
  


Yes. Yes, he would, Gakushuu thought as he was flung from the place he was standing swiftly, crashing into the wall and crumbling into a heap on the floor. Gakushuu almost laughed in morbid humour, his question was answered before he could even open his mouth again. Blood seeped from the newly made cut on his cheek and another one on his tongue, from where he bit it. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth and invaded his taste buds, but he wasn’t focused on that. No, he was focused on the fact that his father was slowly making his way towards him, slimming his way like a snake hunting for its prey. _‘Like Shiota’_ His mind supplied, only that Shiota moved with more grace.

  
  


So, laid there as he tuned out his father's words, yet it seemed that even if he missed out most of the words coming out of the man’s mouth, he still managed to catch the harsh words thrown his way.

  
  


‘Useless…’

‘Slave till the day you die…’

‘Disappointing…’

‘Attach the leash around your neck…’

  
  


Wasn’t like he’d ever heard any of this before. He watched as his father suddenly stopped talking, as if he had been struck before his face started glitching out. He stared at Gakushuu in disbelief, almost in disbelief at what he had done before swiftly picking Gakushuu up onto his feet and walking out of the study.

  
  


Gakushuu wobbled before bracing himself on the wall.

  
  


Damn bipolar bastard.

  
  


* * *

Korosensei was a tricky enigma that Gakushuu still couldn’t possibly figure out. He used to be one of the world's deadliest assassins, yet here he was, teaching a class of 14-15-year olds. Gakushuu didn't know if he'd ever be able to comprehend just who exactly the octopus was. He had supposedly killed millions in cold blood, yet he cried like a baby if he didn't have any money to buy junk food. He was a man that struck fear in everyone’s hearts just by the mere mention of his name, yet he couldn’t even throw a decent punch without making a ‘squish’ sound. He was a killer yet a teacher. 

An enigma indeed.

  
  


He decided to take his thoughts to the man himself, but only got an amused chuckle in response. Did he say something funny? He didn't think he did, so was he mocking him? Gakushuu decided he didn't like his teacher very much. No, not at all.

  
  


* * *

The pole-topping tournament came and went, though Gakushuu could still hear it all. 

  
  


The excited cheers of his classmates. _The cries of his beaten-up friends._

  
  


The heavy breaths of exhausted athletes. _The heavy breaths of Kevin who had blood gushing out of his wounds._

  
  


His thoughts coming up with the best possible scenarios for victory. _His thoughts on coming up with a backstory to tell the coming ambulance._

  
  


He didn't mean any harm. He had brought in his other friends to fill in for the non-athletic of the class. Sure, at first E class was hesitant to use such an underhanded tactic (it was obvious they were only hesitant because it was him offering his help) but eventually came around. It wasn't meant to go this way.

  
  


So what if he was shaking like a new-born lamb.

So what if he had some blood (no, not his blood) on his blue PE shirt.

So what if his eyes were blanker than usual.

He was fine. He was perfectly and utterly fine, so stop asking so many goddamn questions Akabane-  
  


He was fine. So what if Akabane didn't believe him. It didn't matter either way.  
  


He walked through the forest decorating his class’ mountain, stopping right at the cliff’s edge. He looked down, contemplating his options a bit, before deciding to sit down right at the edge, his legs dangling off the side. He felt himself begin to twitch as images flashed through his head; one by one; before stopping on one. The image of his father’s face glitching out as he loomed over him. He clutched his head, willing the thoughts to go.

  
  


Angry red lines appeared all down his arms as his blunt nails scratched over and over and over and over and over-

  
  


He laid down and closed his eyes, feeling all of his controversial feelings leave his body as he tried to drift off to sleep.

  
  


When he woke up again, it was night, and the feeling of overwhelming fear and grief had completely left him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


His father had brainwashed everyone in A class, because of course he would. Gakushuu wasn't planning anything too extravagant, all he wanted to do was go and check up on his friends (Ren and Ren only, he really didn't have time to care about anyone else right now) and what he was met with was an empty shell, an angry empty shell, of his friend. 

  
  


Gakushuu felt sick.

  
  


This was bound to happen; it was inevitable. That’s what he told himself as he climbed back up the mountain after asking someone from 3-D what had happened to A class. Of course, the principal would go this far just to prove who was in charge; who has the upper hand. Though he would have never thought he’d make himself A class’s new teacher.

  
  


He could deal with this; he had dealt with worse before. He had, so why did it feel like he was being eaten from the inside out? As he trudged up the path up the mountain, the building in view, he stopped, before deciding to stray from the route and head deeper into the forest.

  
  


He stopped at a random tree before feeling his knees buckle underneath him uselessly. He slid down against the trunk, his emotions flitting hazardly across his face. Sadness, grief, fear, anger… it was all too much. 

  
  


Suddenly a strong wind picked up from behind him and standing in front of him was a yellow creature with a large smile on his annoying circle of a face. Gakushuu felt himself sigh bitterly, was a moment's peace impossible for someone like him?

  
  


“I noticed you were feeling down today so I came to check on you, though it seems like it may be worse than I originally thought. Are you ok Asano-kun?”

  
  


Gakushuu looked up at the octopus as his hand frantically began pulling at grass strands, something that didn’t go unnoticed by his teacher. “I’m perfectly fine, just give me some time to get my feelings sorted out.”

  
  


“Could you tell me what could possibly be bothering you?” Korosensei inquired.

  
  


“Nothing much, just my father brainwashing my old class including my best friend.” Gakushuu muttered sarcastically.

“That is unfortunate indeed, is there anything I can do to help?”

“Unless you know how to undo my father’s brainwashing, I doubt you can accomplish much.”

“I meant with you. Is there anything I can do that’ll help ease your mind?”

“No… I don’t need your help, just give me a couple moments to fix myself.” A slip of tongue, Gakushuu winced.

  
  


“Fix yourself?”

  
  


Gakushuu looked at his teacher. As in really looked at him. At the disarming smile on his happy-go-lucky, yellow face, at the way his tentacles moved up and down as if he were anxious, at the way his robe fluttered in the wind. He looked like he could be trusted, he really did, but Gakushuu knew better. The more trustworthy they looked, the less they were. He didn’t know what came over him (he really needed to start getting better control of himself) but something in him, his gut maybe, told him that Korosensei could be trusted.

  
  


“Yeah. When… when things get a bit too much I… kind of just… switch off.”

  
  


“Can you explain a bit more?” Korosensei managed to look concerned despite the permanent smile painted on his face.

  
  


“It’s like… a computer. When it doesn’t work, you reboot it. It’s like that, I just turn off my emotions and then switch them back on. By that time, most of it would be gone and I can carry on without worrying too much.”

  
  


“Asano-kun,” Korosensei was at a loss for words, what had this child had to go through to develop a coping mechanism as destructive and unhealthy as that? “That isn’t merely ‘switching off’... that’s shutting down. Surely you don’t think that’s healthy.”

  
  


“I know it isn’t, but it’s kept me going this whole time.”

  
  


“Tell me,” Gakushuu stared at his teacher as said octopus gave him a determined look with his beady eyes, “Tell me everything, and let it all out. Talking is much better than shutting down, I'll have you know.”

  
  


Gakushuu struggled to get the words out, even though he already knew what he wanted to say. He tried to formulate the right words to say and soon grew frustrated with his lack of response to his teacher’s words. 

  
  


“It’s alright, take your time.” Korosensei consoled.

  
  


“I’m just… I hate this. Everything. I’m sick of it.”

  
  


“Sick of what, Asano?”

  
  


“Being… being perfect.”

“Perfect?”

  
  


“Yeah, perfect.”

A crack.

Another crack.

His mask was breaking.

“I have to be perfect for everything. I have to get perfect grades and have a perfect record and smile.” _Crack_ “I can never just be me. I’m always the person everyone else _wants_ me to be. I can never slip up, never break. But I’m sick of it all! I’m sick of being perfect. I’m sick of smiling when all I want to do is cry and break down. No matter what I do, it’s never enough; not to him.” _Crack._ “I hate how he treats me, it’s unbearable. I hate how everyone else treats me.” _Crack._ “I hate that damn pedestal they always put me on; the expectations and pressure they thrust upon me, all because I’m an Asano. Because my father is the principal. I don’t feel safe anywhere; not at school; I don’t even feel at home in my own home!”

  
  


“And now he’s gone and brainwashed everyone I care about. Ren, my best friend, hates me now, and It’s all my fault! This is what happens when I disobey him! I’m at my limit, ok?!” _Crack. Crack._ “I can’t take any more of this! I’m sick of being beaten and berated and put down, I just want it all to end!”

  
  


“I thought I was strong, but I was wrong! I’m weak… I can’t change anything. He was right. Maybe I should just… wouldn't it be easier if I just disappeared?” _Crack._

“Maybe I should just kill myself like Ikeda did and get it over with…” Gakushuu felt his voice break. He just couldn’t help himself, once he started talking, he just couldn’t stop, the words tumbling out of his mouth like water pouring out of a broken dam.

  
  


Korosensei only stared at him, so much so that Gakushuu began to feel uncomfortable. He ran a hand through his hair before touching his cheek when he felt something wet.

Oh, he was crying.

He tried to wipe away his tears, but more just replaced the old ones. 

  
  


Korosensei contemplated what to say, but what could you say in a situation like this? He was completely out of his depth right now. And while he was going through his own inner turmoil on how to breach this horrifically fragile subject, Gakushuu was going through turmoil of his own. His body was fighting to stay online, but he was just so _tired._ Who cares if it meant he’d have to go through another “breakdown”, it worked just fine. And so, with that in mind, he forced himself to get rid of everything; the pain and grief and anger; rip it out of him and lock it away in a safe place, never to be revisited again. He took a final deep breath before opening back up his eyes, the eyes once filled to the brim with tears, now uncharacteristically empty.

  
  


“But it’s ok, I’m fine now.”

  
  


Korosensei looked up in alarm at the boy’s almost dead tone, to see that despite the tears still dampening his rosy cheeks, his expression was bland; the shutdown was complete. The teacher didn’t know how to describe it, but he felt this overwhelming sadness upon looking at his sad yet blank expression. The world was so cruel. 

  
  


Here Gakushuu was, only 14 years old; still a kid; and yet he had already suffered through so much. Korosensei could relate to that, yet he hated to do so. He would never wish his misfortunes on someone else, never, not even to somebody as despicable as Shiro. And while Gakushuu hadn’t gone through the exact same thing he had gone through; he couldn’t help but empathise with him.

  
  


“I should get going, I don’t want to be late for dinner.” Gakushuu muttered as he slowly got up from his crouched position.

  
  


A tentacle reached out for the boy but stopped short, as Korosensei didn’t know what to say. Why were his words failing him now of all times? When one of his dear students needed him the most? He didn’t want to let Gakushuu leave and let him be, but at the same time, would anything he say make a difference? His words could make or break the challenge set before him. One wrong word and Gakushuu would crumple like a Jenga tower. 

  
  


It was with that decision in mind that made Korosensei watch his student turn and leave, not a word leaving his permanent grin. He may have not been able to say anything to the younger Asano, but the older Asano on the other hand…

  
  


The yellow octopus flew away in a frenzy, his path directed towards the principal’s building.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When Gakushuu came home, he was met with silence. 

  
  


When his father came home, there was yelling.

  
  


Screaming.

  
  


Things being thrown around.

Plates smashing.

  
  


A slap.

  
  


A push.

  
  


A _push._

  
  


* * *

  
  


Strawberry-blonde hair fluttered in the soft breeze as violet eyes looked at the calm river below. Fingers dragged carefully across skin as legs dangled off of the edge. A boy, still so very young, sitting on the edge of a bridge, ready to jump. A new bruise forming on his right cheek and cut over his left eyebrow. A small frown and contemplating look on his face, yet his eyes showed untold terrors.

  
  


Another boy sat beside him, his blonde hair swaying with his body, pinkish eyes looking over the horizon, whispering encouragement into the other’s ear. A basketball placed firmly on his lap. His eyes were sunken and his face pale, his clothes and hair were sopping wet. It looked like he had become one with the water; He looked like he had drowned. He carefully stroked the other's hair, whispering one final word into the boy’s ear, before leaping into the river…

  
  


...The other boy falling closely behind with the whispered word resonating in his eardrums and reverberating in his head.

  
_“Jump.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I've been suffering from writers block for a while now, mainly due to the stress of exams and getting good grades, so I haven't really been updating. When I do manage to make time for myself (along with all of my clubs, studying times and the tedious task of having a social life (Yes call me Gakushuu all you want, it's what my Ass Class friends call me)) when I do settle down to write, my mind just becomes blank.
> 
> Which is why my other project has yet to be updated too. I wrote this in hopes that my writers-block would be cured, even though it took me a shameful two weeks to write it all out. Like i've said before, I love making my boy suffer! I hope I managed to capture his depressed thoughts correctly, seeing as it is a constant worry of mine that my writing may offend someone, so tell me if i got anything wrong or you feel offended by a certain part! 
> 
> Also, if you managed to guess who the boy with Gakushuu was in the last scene, then you get a prize!
> 
> (The prize is being good at guessing.)


End file.
